Original Twitter thread found here
The single class of people most likely to sexually abuse a child: their step-parent.
The call is coming from inside the house, not the elected official 10 states away.
The person your kid didn’t trust but you married anyway?
Pro tip: Never value your orgasm above your child.
The thing to keep in mind about this: the Qs use their conspiracy theory to DISPLACE functional anxiety.
They are aware of these stats. But they don’t WANT to believe, because THEY know they’re responsible if their child is abused.
Most conspiracy theories, AT BASE, are avoidant thinking.
If you believe in chem trails, you don’t have to worry about ground level air pollution.
If you believe the Masons/Jews/Lizards control everything, no political decision is your fault.
They let the believer abdicate.
It’s psychologically useful, because most people DO make mistakes in life, and those mistakes end up harming other people.
Avoiding guilt and displacing blame is easier than facing it, accepting it, and accepting other people’s judgement.
But avoidance doesn’t mend the errors.
The thing specific to Q?
People in power ARE abusing children right now.
The senior ones are all GOP, almost all handpicked by Trump.
They’re 100% deflecting and displacing their guilt, because THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE for this.
They can’t face the judgement they deserve.
End of twitter thread.
And now the addendum, the part that’s not in the thread. The very specific issues with abuse inside the household, rather than the larger displacement issue of the fantasy.
Nothing in the statistics says that a biological parent cannot abuse their children. But the statistics have been consistently clear since the rate of divorce stabilized in the late 80s — assault of children is 40 times higher with a subsequent partner.
There are reasons for it — a subsequent partner is primarily interested in a relationship with the parent, not with the child; that person is likely to feel jealousy towards the child and the prior partner. This can cause them to exercise power over the child and show contempt for the child.
Predators know that a parent who has recently left a broken relationship is more likely to need affection, has been feeling abandoned or alone for a significant period of time, is more likely to be vulnerable to manipulation because they have just endured the end of a relationship. That means it’s much easier to prey on newly single people, which gets access to the children.
A predator knows they only have to keep up the facade long enough to make leaving difficult — a lease, a mortgage, another child, financial entanglements.
Subsequent partners can feel resentful of a parent’s divided attention, there can be power struggles within the household. Lots of reasons that someone is more easily induced to cause harm. The more introspection and forethought a prospective step-parent puts into the potential relationship, the less likely harm will come to the child. But people who don’t interrogate their feelings are more reactive than people who do.
Subsequent partners are like the concept of Schroedinger’s Rapist: most men on the street are not going to commit street harassment or drag someone into an alley to rape and murder. But one cannot know that until the threat is actual, or over. Most step-parents would never knowingly harm their partner’s child. But as a group, there is a danger.
I’m not saying don’t have subsequent relationships if your relationship with your child’s other parent ended. I’m saying you’re now a package deal. Your child did not ask to be born, you made that decision. Their needs are now inextricably entwined with yours.
If a partner doesn’t like your child, or just doesn’t want to be involved, that relationship will not progress to a happy family. They can stay a friend-with-benefits, but they don’t sleep over when your child is present. They don’t share money, or any legal relationship. That’s okay. If you’re 16 years from your kid going to college, this might not work, but if your kid’s in high school, taking a relationship slow is in everyone’s best interest.
And the reverse: if you child dislikes or distrusts a partner, that person doesn’t become part of your lives. Your child is small and inexperienced. They are not stupid. If they get a creepy feeling and it doesn’t go away, trust that. Your kid didn’t ask to be born, and they didn’t ask for a divorce. So don’t force them into another relationship they cannot escape.
Never put an orgasm above a child’s well-being. It really is that simple. Being alone is not the worst thing in the world.
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